gaffe | From the Writer's Desk

It May Be Well Meaning But No

Sometimes well-meaning things people say to writers which really aren’t the best things to say. They’re not doing it to be insensitive. At least I hope they’re not. They simply don’t realize it’s inappropriate.

A few years ago I was going through a difficult time. I’d ended a friendship with someone who had been my best friend for ten years because it had become toxic. Ending a relationship with a close friend is similar to ending a romantic relationship. It’s a painful experience to go through.

What anyone in my position wants to hear are words of support. Unfortunately, because I’m a novel writer, what I got instead was, “Gee, you should write a book about this.”

I’m sure everyone who said it thought it was well meaning, or even cool for them to say. However, it wasn’t cool at at all. It was insensitive, and it came across as glib.

Writers are people too. We experience the same disappointments everyone else experiences, and when bad things happen, we feel the same pain everyone else feels. What we need are the same words of support others get. I don’t know of any writer, myself included, who goes out and deliberately creates drama in their life just so they can write a book about it.

How we handle this would depend on the situation and the individuals involved. However, we are certainly within our rights if we choose to speak up about it. When bad things happen, we deserve the same dignity, respect and compassion, as anyone else.

Gayle Martin

Making Promises You Can’t Deliver

Years ago, a fellow writer contacted me about including me in a book she was writing. I’d met her at a few events where I was promoting my Luke and Jenny book series. Her book was about honoring people who helped to preserve the history or promote the culture of the old west. It would feature many prominent Arizonans, as well as a few Hollywood actors.

Needless to say, I felt both honored and excited to be included in this very distinguished group. One member had been the host of a kid’s TV show in Phoenix which ran for over thirty-five years. He may not have been as famous as the Hollywood actors, but I grew up watching him on TV. I was especially excited to be in the same group as him, and I really looked forward to reading her book once it was published.

A few years went by. I checked her website from time to time. There was no new information, but I wasn’t concerned. Writing a book doesn’t happen overnight, so this was not uncommon.

It’s now been more than a decade since she first contacted me, and her website has since been taken down. It wasn’t a good sign, so I wondered if something might have happened to her. A number of people she included in her book have since passed away, including the kid’s TV show host. Then the other day I saw one of her posts on Facebook. It was the first I’d seen or heard of her in years.

I commented on her post and asked how she was doing. I also asked her about her book. Her response was totally unexpected. She had changed her mind and wasn’t going to do her book after all. It was too much work and she just didn’t have the time. Seriously?

We’ve all had ideas for books which we may have started, but, for whatever reason, were unable to finish. The issue is her having contacted and interviewed people before she changed her mind. At the very least, she should have reached out us, along with the families of those who had passed away, to thank us for our time and apologize for not being able to complete the book. It would have also been nice if she had returned whatever materials I may have sent to her. Where I come from this is called common courtesy.

Things happen, but it never ends well when you don’t deliver on the promises you make. I honestly feel like I’ve been duped, and whatever respect I may have had for her evaporated the minute I read her comment. I take my profession seriously. I’ve worked hard to build a good reputation. If something beyond my control comes up and prevents me from keeping a promise, I let the other party know, as soon as I possibly can. Not only is it common courtesy, it’s also good karma.

Gayle Martin

Think You Don’t Need an Editor? Part 3

In my first article, So You Think You Don’t Need an Editor, Part One, I described what a book editor does. In my second article, So You Think You Don’t Need an Editor, Part Two, I talked about who would be the most qualified to edit your book. In this final article of the series, I’m going to discuss what readers expect when they buy your book.

Readers really do notice

Never, ever assume your reader doesn’t care. He or she has paid good money for your book. Your reader is used to reading well written and edited books, and he or she expects your book to be well written and edited too.

It’s also a given that not everyone will like your book. The subject matter may not be of interest, or the reader may not agree with your point of view. As writers we should expect to have a small percentage of readers return our books and ask for refunds. It’s part of the business of writing and publishing books. However, the last thing any writer wants or needs is for a reader to reject the book because it was poorly written or edited.

Don’t let the joke be at your expense

None of us are perfect. We all make mistakes, but because we can’t view our work objectively we oftentimes miss our gaffes. The list below came from one of my writing forums. It’s typical of the mistakes we all make. I’ve paraphrased it to protect the guilty.

A character gets into a Handsome Cab. (As opposed to a hansom cab. Perhaps the cab driver was handsome.)
The lead character is locked in a dudgeon. (That must be where the threw the stupid prisoners. No doubt the others were locked in the dungeon.)
He wrapped his arms around her waste. (Yuk! I’m seeing a really nasty visual here. Hopefully the next time he’ll wrap his arms around her waist.)
During a sex scene a character is having an organism. (There’s an interesting twist to a love scene. After the tryst is over he or she will need to see a doctor.)
He would gather her up in his arts. (What? You mean he put her body parts into his sculptures? Like Vincent Price did in the movie Wax Museum? I’d much prefer he gather her in his arms.)

What do all these faux paus have in common? They were all allegedly found in self-published books. And while it may be funny to us, it’s certainly not as funny to the authors who wrote them. These are just a few of the mistakes a good editor will catch, and correct.

So you still think you don’t need an editor? Well, if you don’t mind being laughed at on a public forum then maybe you don’t. However, if you want to be taken seriously as an author, and if you want your book to be successful, you need find yourself a good editor.

Gayle Martin

So You Think You Don’t Need an Editor–Part Two

In my previous article, So You Think You Don’t Need an Editor–Part One , I described what an editor does, and how he or she goes over your manuscript to give it the polish it needs to become a successful book. In this article, I’ll be discussing who you should hire to edit your manuscript.

I understand money is an issue for many of you. However, unless you’re one of the very few lucky writers who lands a deal with a traditional publisher, you’ll undoubtedly be investing your own money into producing your book. A professional editor will typically charge one to two cents per word. This means an 80,000 word manuscript may cost about $800 to $1600 to edit.

Why working with a professional editor matters

I know it’s a lot of money, and many of you are working with small budgets. Therefore, you may be tempted to take some shortcuts. My advice? Don’t do it! Asking your friends, your cousin, your spouse or your mom to edit your manuscript may seem like a good alternative. However, they would have to have experience in journalism, teaching , or other professional writing experience in order to be qualified for the job.

Now, let’s say you have a friend or family member with one or more of these qualifications. Does this mean you can ask them to edit your manuscript? Well, maybe. However, you need to be aware of another caveat. As I stated in my earlier article, your editor needs to be objective. Your mom may be a retired English teacher, but can she really be objective? If your mom is anything like my mother was, she may be overly critical. If so, can you handle it?

If a stranger is overly critical of your work you can fire them if you feel your working relationship is toxic. You won’t be spending Thanksgiving them. But if your mom is your editor, it can get really awkward. Ultimately you’ll have to decide for yourself if working with a friend or family member would be a good option or not.

Where to find a professional editor

I found my first editor through the small press publisher I was working with at the time. She was an absolute joy to work with, but then she decided to change careers. I found my current editor through a local writers association. If you know other authors ask them for a referral. Online author’s forums are another good place. Simply post the question.

And finally

Just as authors specialize in writing nonfiction or fiction, editors will also specialize in what kinds of manuscripts they edit. So if your manuscript is science fiction or fantasy, be sure to find an editor who has experience in editing science fiction and fantasy.

Writing a successful book takes time and money. If you want your book to have four and five star reader reviews, then you’ll need hire a professional book editor. Nothing will end your writing career faster than a poorly-written and edited book with bad reviews.

Gayle Martin

Book Signing Etiquette

Whether it’s a bookstore, a book fair, or other special event, book signings can be a lot of fun. They’re a great way to engage one-on-one with potential readers and network with other authors. However, we authors can sometimes allow our enthusiasm to get the best of us.

Treat other authors with respect

The worst experience I ever had at a book signing was during a big event weekend in Tombstone, Arizona. The local bookstore had invited so many authors to come and sign their books they ran out of space inside the store. So, they seated me, along with one other author, on the boardwalk in front of the store. Strategically, we had a great advantage. There was a lot more foot traffic outside the store, and we were right next to the door. Customers had to walk past us before they went inside. I should have had one of the best weekends ever. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen. The other author completely sabotaged it.

He was a nonstop talker who talked and talked and talked about anything and everything. Yak, yak, yak, yak, yak. He wouldn’t shut up. Not even while I was talking to potential readers, or trying to close a sale. And yes, he actually killed some of my sales.

As if this weren’t bad enough, he started babbling about a controversial book he planned to write about his religious beliefs. So while I’m trying to talk to my customers, he’s quoting Biblical scripture, chapter and verse, in a very loud voice. Not only were people no longer stopping at my table, they were literally running away.

I strongly believe in religious freedom. However, this was not the venue for a religious debate. I normally did well at Tombstone events. This time, however, I had a disaster. I hardly sold any books, all because of one very self-centered author who couldn’t keep his stupid mouth shut.

A book signing is not a place to socialize

A book signing is where authors come to connect one on one with their readers. If there are other authors at the same venue, as there often are, please show some respect and a little common courtesy. Keep your conversations with other authors brief, and try to limit those conversations to those times when there are no customers around. Most importantly, keep your mouth shut while other authors are talking to potential buyers. Nothing says rank ametuer louder than interfering with another author’s sale.

Gayle Martin

Think You Don’t Need an Editor? Part One

“I don’t need an editor because I do my own editing.”

I often hear this comment from first time authors. It’s the voice of inexperience or an over inflated ego. Sometimes both. It also has a familiar ring to it, as I resemble this remark myself.

My very first book was a historic cookbook titled, Anna’s Kitchen. At the time I wrote it I too thought I didn’t need an editor. In fact, I was such a smart aleck at the time that I thought I knew everything. Never mind the fact that I had never written a book in my entire life. As far as I was concerned, the spell checker in my word processing software was all I needed. So how did I do? Well, you may want to refer to my post titled, Just Add Two Tablespoons of Fate. Sure, I can laugh about it now, but it’s a splendid example of why all authors, especially new authors, must have an editor.

Why every author needs an editor

An editor is a fresh pair of eyes to go over your manuscript. They give it the added polish it needs to turn it into a great book. They’re not as much concerned about the content of your work as they are the structure. They look for things such as misspelled words, typos, and comma spliced sentences. They also look for dangling participles, incorrect homonyms, redundancy, and the dreaded passive voice. If you write fiction, they’ll look for inconsistencies in your story and character arcs. In other words, they fix all the gaffes that you, as a writer, may have overlooked. The reason why you’re not seeing them is because you’re too involved with your own work to see it objectively. This is normal. As human beings, we can’t be objective about ourselves. This is why it’s difficult for us to see our mistakes. It’s the same reason why doctors don’t treat themselves or members of their own families.

Some of you reading this may still be skeptical, or you may even think your writing skills are so superior that you simply don’t need an editor. If this is the case, then you’ll soon find out for yourselves that writing is a very humbling experience. There is nothing quite like having your readers point out all your errors for you, and then posting them on an Amazon review for the entire world to see. Once that happens, your credibility as an author is pretty much done, and you can kiss your writing career goodbye.

What do Danielle Steel, James Patterson, Mary Higgins Clark, Stephen King, J.K. Rowling, and Dean Koontz all have in common? They all have editors. So if these famous authors all have editors, then what makes you think that you don’t need one? Just asking.

Gayle Martin

How to Write a Spicy Love Scene

So, how you do write a spicy scene that won’t make your readers burst out laughing? Just like with any other writing, it’s all about the proper technique. In one of my other blogs, Marina Martindale’s Musings, I wrote an article called, Sweet, Sensual or Erotic Romance? It discusses the different romance subgenres. I write sensual romance, which is probably the most common. However, the advice I’m giving would also apply to writing erotica.

Have a basic understanding of anatomy and physiology

Human beings come in two body types with two distinct sets of equipment. This equipment only functions in certain ways. When in doubt there are plenty of medical websites where you can get more information.

Handle euphemisms with care

While you can call body parts by name in erotica, they may be too graphic or harsh for sensual romance. Euphemisms can be substituted, but be careful. Certain words, such as manhood, tend to be overused. Others, such as butterfly, can be downright corny. If you’re new to this kind of writing I would recommend reading some erotica from established authors, such as Anais Nin.

Use proper grammar, syntax and punctuation

Nothing screams amatuer louder than poor writing. No matter the genre, if your story is poorly written it won’t be read. This is why even the most well known authors use editors and proofreaders.

So, if you’re ready for a good belly laugh, I’ve posted a link to the article below. Be sure to put your coffee down first as an unexpected burst of laughter while you’re swallowing may result in the coffee coming out of your nose and splattering your screen.

Gayle Martin

And here’s the article.
I’m So Sorry, But Here’s How Some Male Authors For Really Real Described Women In Books

Just Add Two Tablespoons of Fate

My very first book was a historic cookbook called Anna’s Kitchen. I produced it entirely on my own. I did my own writing and editing. I did my own proofreading. I did my own typesetting and cover design. (Okay, I had an advantage there. I was a professional graphic designer before I became an author.) I’ll admit that in hindsight, it was an incredible learning experience as I soon realized just how much hard work goes into producing a book. I also learned why teamwork is so necessary.

Lessons learned the hard way

Being a newbie, I used my spell checker as my editor and proofreader. At the time I honestly believed it was all I needed. Later on, realized I had made big mistake. It’s how I learned, the hard way, why every author must have an editor.

Before my book went to print I went over my manuscript many times. Everything looked fine, at least to me. However, once the book was printed, I found all kinds of errors. Murphy’s Law really is a thing. All those errors were well hidden, until the book was printed. Then they jumped off the page as it to shout, “Ha ha! You missed us! You missed us!”

As fate would have it

One of my friends came across something in a gravy recipe he found particularly amusing. It said, Add two tablespoons of fate. He laughed and laughed. Then he asked me if it meant that we were supposed to pray over the gravy as it was being prepared. Now mind you, it’s not a bad idea. I pray over the little everyday things much more than the big things. In this case, however, it was a typo the spell checker had missed. The word, fate, was spelled correctly, but what it should have read was, add two tablespoons of fat.

This is why every author needs an editor and a proofreader. We simply cannot be objective when it comes to critiquing our own work. Perhaps someday someone will invent an AI book editor, but even then, a machine cannot make a judgement call like a real person can.

Suffice to say that you need a couple tablespoons of fat if you’re making gravy. However, when it comes to writing and publishing a book, you may need to add two tablespoons of fate, along with a good editor and proofreader. Just saying.

Gayle Martin