Sometimes well-meaning things people say to writers which really aren’t the best things to say. They’re not doing it to be insensitive. At least I hope they’re not. They simply don’t realize it’s inappropriate.
A few years ago I was going through a difficult time. I’d ended a friendship with someone who had been my best friend for ten years because it had become toxic. Ending a relationship with a close friend is similar to ending a romantic relationship. It’s a painful experience to go through.
What anyone in my position wants to hear are words of support. Unfortunately, because I’m a novel writer, what I got instead was, “Gee, you should write a book about this.”
I’m sure everyone who said it thought it was well meaning, or even cool for them to say. However, it wasn’t cool at at all. It was insensitive, and it came across as glib.
Writers are people too. We experience the same disappointments everyone else experiences, and when bad things happen, we feel the same pain everyone else feels. What we need are the same words of support others get. I don’t know of any writer, myself included, who goes out and deliberately creates drama in their life just so they can write a book about it.
How we handle this would depend on the situation and the individuals involved. However, we are certainly within our rights if we choose to speak up about it. When bad things happen, we deserve the same dignity, respect and compassion, as anyone else.
Gayle Martin